Thingyan Trip Part 1

In September, I took a trip to Thingyan. For some reason this blog was never posted, so here we go.

Wendy and I have been hard at our language and culture study in Kathmandu, but I was so excited when I was able to take my first real trip to rural Nepal on 17th of September since moving here. I traveled in my now infamous Gypsy (jeep) with Ramhari and Prem from Kathmandu. The plan was to meet Pastor Ratna about half way there in a major city called Hetauda. Pastor Ratna was to take a bus which would arrive just before we would and ride out with us in the Gypsy the last 4 hours so I could already begin discussions with him about the Hope Fund, and to learn so much about the success or any problems with the program there.

But, this is Nepal, so we ended up waiting 5 hours in Hetauda. Pastor Ratna did not come by bus, but instead came by motorbike, and to take his place in the Gypsy, we waited for two other passengers I did not know, who needed a ride to the village.

I was told previously that the road was quite nice from Hetauda to Thingyan, much better than the way I had gone on a previous trip last year. Yet, after a heavy rainy season that had just ended, these so-called roads were nonexistent, almost. This road was by far the worst road I have ever tried to pass, at times it was like going straight up the mountain!  I noticed pretty quickly that there were no other vehicles on the road at all, and it was then that I was told that no vehicles were passing at this time to Thingyan because the roads were almost impassable! Great to find out this information 3/4 of the way up the mountain.

During one of the many jarring bumps we began to smell fuel, so I got out and checked the fuel tank for a hole, but found it only had a new large dent in the pan, which also killed the fuel gauge, so it was no longer working and registering at empty. Later, during the last leg of the journey, we found that the gas cap had somehow been lost and this was the reason for the gas smell. My missing gas cap was quickly replaced with a potato and a plastic bag! This was the start of problems once again with the Gypsy.  We knew we  had lost some of the fuel but with the gauge not working, we had no clue how much or if we would make it to Thingyan, much less make it back to the major city of Hetauda.

The Gypsy worked great, it made it up some roads that I did not think were possible to be able to pass. I wish I  had taken the time to take pictures of some of the roads we traversed. Next time! Luckily our potato and plastic bag held strong the rest of the trip!  All of  the passengers had to get out at some points just for the jeep to be able to make it up the incline. Our 7 hour trip turned into about 13 hours, but we finally made it to our destination after some tough work by the Gypsy.

I was anxious to meet the people of Thingyan and find out about their lives. Pastor Ratna also had a great dinner prepared for us. From the church we heard chanting and drums going for hours during our talks. I was told  it was actually Ratna's mother practicing worship to idols, currently Ratna is the only member of his family that has come to Christ. I was asked if I wanted to see how they did this, and I jumped at this opportunity but was shocked when I saw what was taking place, I was told it was a ritual from the first century. Ratna's mother was completely wrapped in a blanket and sitting on the floor. There were two people jumping around with burning  fires in one hand and some kind of alcohol in the other as they were chanting they would throw a hand full of alcohol through the fire onto his mom wrapped in the blanket. Each time someone, would quickly brush the fire off of the sheets which surrounded Ratna's mother.

After this we went next  door to the church building and had the most amazing time of prayer and worship to the only true God, he joined us with his presence and we were all refreshed. After some time we planned  out the next day, I would take  many interviews with the DSLR camera that Adam had left with me on his last trip to Kathmandu. Learning how to be a  much better photographer is also one of my new goals. We went  to sleep that night with the chanting and drums going on in the background,  lasting most of the night.

We actually slept great in a room with about 8 guys sleeping on the floor. The next morning, we set out early to talk with the 5 latest Hope Fund recipients, to see how things were going and to learn more about who them and how the program has effected them. When we started walking, I quickly realized that we were heading down steep mountain rocks that were still wet from the morning dew. Unfortunately, I was wearing the wrong kind of shoes for this type of trail ( my hiking shoes were in the Gypsy,)  I must have slipped and fallen at least 20 times on my rump! They all got such a good laugh and I even had Pastor Ratna helping hold me up until they found something I could use as a walking stick!

Pastor Ratna doing his best to keep me from falling!

The conversations were great and I was able to meet some amazing people. The work being done here through the Hope Fund has truly changed this entire community, raising it out of poverty and empowering them to provide for their families and their children's food and educations. I was able to meet with the chairman of the Hope Fund in Thingyan and his wife. I feel so blessed to have had the priviledge of making this trip, meeting these people and hearing their stories.

Pastor Ratna and I on the trails.

Thingyan is one  of the most amazing places I have found on earth with beautiful mountains every direction you look, and the people were even more amazing. Peoples of all religions in this place are being blessed by the HopeFund and other programs Servlife has brought to this remote location. The Christians now have the respect of the entire village, including the Hindus. Out in the villages, they speak no English and even with a translator I missed so much of what was going on. This has given me a greater drive to really put more effort towards learning the Nepali language.

After a long day we had a nice  meal  and finalized some conversations. I was deeply impacted by the way the Hope Fund has been such a success here. We packed up the Gypsy late in the afternoon to head back to Hetauda. But, did we have enough fuel to even make it, or could we face even greater difficulties on our journey down....
Find out soon in Part 2. It gets very interesting, stayed  tuned!

Back to the States

Why, God?

I'm sure we have all asked this question at times, and this is where we found ourselves as we booked our plane tickets out of Nepal for October 25th, the last day on our tourist visas. In Nepal, you only get 5 months a year on a tourist visa, and to our great dismay, our work visas did not come through in time.

Wendy immediately realized that we would miss Christmas with the girls at the Peace Loving Home, who have taken us in as family. That was unacceptable, so we decided to celebrate early with them on October 24th. We had a wonderful evening together, ate a lot of food and even had a "Happy Birthday Jesus" cake as well! As you can see in the pictures, we were able to buy new winter coats for all of the girls, as well as a plush robe to keep Aama warm all winter. 

October 25 came and we were in tears to be leaving Nepal, still not understanding God's plan in this. After 30 hours of travel we made it back to Texas and were picked up by our son, Simon, who we we thrilled to see. It took about a week before we were feeling normal again from the 12 hour time difference - that is as bad as jet lag can get!

It has been great to see our friends and family, and God has seen fit to give us rest and rejuvenate our souls. Our plans for our stay in the states includes two weeks traveling and seeing our family and then getting back to work learning Nepali.

It has been fun watching God's plan come together for our lives, even though we don't always understand it or like it. He has placed his finger on some things we need to change or remove from our lives so we can better serve Him and the people of Nepal. Best of all, my marriage to Wendy has jumped to all new heights as God has us breaking down walls and defenses in our own marriage.

We look forward to spending as much time as possible with our family, friends and partners before we fly back to Nepal at the end of December.

God HELP!!!

Wendy's journal entry Friday, September 27, 2013

God HELP!!! I am struggling today. My to-do list feels overwhelming, and the more I try to do, the more behind I seem to get. I am tired, and I am not ready to leave Nepal for 2 months if our nontourist VISAs don't get approved in time. I know just a few days ago I said I trust you in this, but today, I just want to cry at the thought of possibly having to leave. I need to learn to drive here, but I am scared. I want to spend time with our Nepali family, but I am tired. I want to learn the language, but the more I learn, the more overwhelmed I feel. I want to spend time with Sam, but my to-do list dominates my brain. I need you, Lord.

Our First Nepali Father's Day

September 5 was Father's Day in Nepal, so Sam and I decided to take the family (Ambika, Prem, Anipa, Kamala, Richa, Nabina, Shanti, Sonu, Upasna and Manuka- who just joined the family a few days ago) out to a restaurant as a Father's Day gift. We thought it would be a nice treat for Prem to have someone cook for him since he owns a restaurant and spends 6 long days a week there cooking for other people. Plus, going to a restaurant is something the kids rarely do, so we figured they would have a great time, too.

The girls give Prem his Father's Day gift.

I (Wendy) was running a fever of almost 102 just an hour before we left. It had come on suddenly just a few hours earlier, so I decided I wasn't going to go, but when I mentioned this to Sam and Ambika they started talking about waiting until another day when I could go. This was Father's Day, not Wendy's Day. It was supposed to be about Prem and Sam, not me. Besides, cooking here takes much more work and prepartion, so to change plans and decide to cook this late in the day would have meant a big inconvenience for them, which was NOT the Father's Day gift I wanted to give. So I took some medicine and a shower, got myself together and went with them to the restaurant.

The girls' give Sam one of his 2 Father's Day cards.

I was fairly pale and pouring sweat, but I am SO glad I went. The kids were laughing and taking pictures, the food was delicious, and not only did the girls give Prem a beautiful flower arrangement and two Father's Day cards, but they also surprised Sam with two Father's Day cards (a store-bought one and a homemade one). 

A wonderful surprise - an anniversary card and flower arrangement.

And if that weren't enough (it would have been), they also surprised both of us with a lovely flower arrangement and card for our anniversary which was the following day. I am sure I was quite a vision... pale, pouring sweat and crying tears of joy throughout the evening as I kept looking around and thinking, "I am living in Nepal. This is my life. I am part of this family." 

Attending My First Nepali Christian Wedding

When Ambika invited me (Wendy) to go to a Nepali Christian wedding with her, I was excited, but not sure what to expect. I imagined there would be both similarities and differences from what I am accustomed to in America, and I was right.

My first question was what should I wear? Did I need to buy a sari (the traditional Nepali dress) or would a kurta (the traditional Nepali pants, long shirt and scarf) be okay? Ambika said either would be fine, and offered to let me wear something of hers, which I happily accepted.

The day of the wedding arrived, and as promised Ambika loaned me a beautiful red and black kurta. I was told the wedding would start at 2pm and probably be over by 5:00 or 5:30pm. Since we live about 10 minutes from the church, we didn't need to leave too early, but as 1:50pm came and went, I began to get anxious. I am typically a very punctual person, especially to something like a wedding, so I went to check on Ambika who was still getting ready.

Slightly frusterated, but trying not to worry too much, I went back downstairs to our flat to wait for her. Sam asked what time the wedding started. I told him 2:00, and we both laughed since it was now after 2:00. We reminded each other (only half joking) that this was a Nepali wedding after all, so of course no one would be there are 2:00. The guests would probably show up at 3:00, the groom at 4:00 and maybe the bride would be there by 5:30!

While this may sound obsurd to many of you (and Sam and I were exaggerating about the bride and grrom showing up late) there is actually a lot of truth and reasoning behind what seems rude to most Americans. In America, we tend to be about productivity, punctuality, "time is money" and so forth. In Nepal, they tend to be more event-oriented.

For example, our kitchen needed a faucet before we moved in, so Sam and I went to several different faucet shops. We would explain the kind we were looking for, and even if they didn't have it, they would often offer us a cup of hot tea. Nevermind that we needed to keep shopping, preferably at a shop that had what we needed. It is not about our to-do list or our productivity, it is about taking/ making time for people. It's hard to get used to when you are used to being time oriented. It's even annoying at first, then humbling and if you are lucky, eventually you realize maybe it's not so absurd after all. In fact, isn't that a lot of what Jesus did; take/ make time for people? As we've continued to discover, we have so much to learn here.

Back to the day of the wedding, though. I checked in on Ambika a few more times (it was about 2:20 by this time), and that's when she told me not to worry, because she heard the wedding had not actually started at 2:00. Of course it didn't. This is Nepal, and I love it here!

We finally got to the wedding at about 2:30 or maybe later, although by now I had stopped checking the clock. We took our shoes off, as is the custom in Nepal, and as we went inside the church we were handed a wedding program written in Devanagari script, which Sam and I have just started learning, so I couln't read it at the time, but hopefully I'll be able to very soon! A small fake rose was also pinned to each of us.

There were already quite a few people there, and Ambika let me know that they were introducing the groom's father, his mother and the bride's uncle, because she is an orphan (she grew up in an orphanage), and he was her closest living relative. The men sat mostly in the front (although some who came in later sat near the back), the women sat mostly in back (including the groom's mother) and everyone, except the bride, groom, best man, maid of honor and the pastor, sat on the floor. The pastor stands, and the bride and groom sit on a sofa facing everyone, along with their best man and maid of honor.

I also noticed that the bride kept her head bowed for the entire ceremony, which Ambika told me is the custom here. Also, the bride was very serious throughout the whole ceremony, including a few times when the pastor had obviously made a joke and everyone else laughed, including the groom. Each time Ambika translated for me, and it never seemed like something that the bride would not find humorous, so I finally asked Ambika, and she said that both the bride and groom are supposed to remain very serious for the whole ceremony as a sign that they are taking it seriously, so even though they were probably both very happy and excited, showing that would appear disrespectful.

That brought up a new question in my mind. I know that many Nepali marriages are still arranged, but I wasn't sure about Nepali Christian marriages. Ambika informed me that the bride and groom had known each other a long time and that they chose to get married, but they still had to get permission from their parents (or in this case just his parents since she is an orphan) and the church. If the parents or the church objected, then they could not get married.

Also, typically they would get married at the bride's church, but in this case they had to get married at the groom's church because the bride's church rents their building and there were some issues with the landlord. Even more surprising to me, although I guess it shouldn't have been, was that Christian marriages are not recognized by the government of Nepal. The couple simply receives a certificate from the church. I figured this had been the case back when the country was a Hindu nation, but I just assumed it had changed now that Nepal is a secular nation, een though most of the people are still Hindu. Apparently not.

As for the similarities of the wedding, from what Ambika translated, most of the ceremony is much like a Christian wedding in America with the pastor speaking to the couple about marriage, quoting some Bible verses and the exchange of vows and rings, as well as the couple each taking separate white candles and together lighting a larger red candle. There is no "You may kiss the bride" though, because kissing in public is still taboo in Nepal. Instead, the pastor simply announces when the couple is husband and wife.

There is also wedding cake just like in America, and the bride and groom leave for just a few minutes after the ceremony to go cut the cake, but then immediately come back to the wedding pulpit/ couch area to take pictures and spend time with guests while the everyone else makes their way to the reception area to eat a meal of dhal bhat (lentils and rice), curried vegetables and meat followed by a very small piece of the cake placed on a plate with plain yogurt.

After eating and talking with several of the guests, it was time to leave. Surprisingly it was about 5:30pm as Ambika had told me, which was a pleasant surprise, although I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud as we got to the road and several people were just arriving!

Moving....Again.....

I know for a fact that some of you hate to move, staying in the same home to evade having to start in a new home again from scratch. Sam is one of those people who dislikes moving. That being said we have moved AGAIN! That makes 8 times within just 6 months for those who are trying to keep track. Even for someone who loves to move like me (Wendy), this has been a bit extreme.

Luckily God had great plans for us that took us completely by surprise. We found an amazing place we love and hope to stay at for more than a month or two; and best of all it is a flat directly beneath a ServLife sponsored children's home - the Peace Loving Home.

The Peace Loving Home is the family we wrote about in our last blog entitled Pariwar (Family). While they have been beyond amazing, who would have ever imagined that we would be living in the same house, just one floor down from them?

If you told me a year ago that I would be living in a children’s home with 8 girls running around I would have thought you were nuts… or maybe that I was (am?)! This is not what I EVER would have imagined for myself. I prefer plenty of quiet and alone time, not a bunch of kids running around, singing, dancing and playing.

Then again, moving to Kathmandu with all of the honking car horns, barking dogs, plus streets and rivers littered with trash is not what I would have ever imagined for myself either, yet somehow, I have a love, peace and happiness here and for the Nepali people that makes absolutely no sense for my “neat-freak, orderly, punctual” personality, other than to say that God has done a work in me.

It seems that is the case with our new flat as well. I am truly loving it here, and so is Sam, although with his huge love for kids, that has not been as big of a surprise. This has been a huge blessing and stretching period for us. God's ways really are higher than our own. And it’s not just that I’m glad to be a 20 minute drive away from the monkeys, although I definitely count that as a HUGE blessing! Not only are we directly beneath the Peace Loving Home, we are just minutes away from Servelife’s directors and the 2 other ServLife children's homes here in Kathmandu.  

Ambika gives the girls a blessing before the leave for school

Then there are the moments that surprise me. Like in the mornings as the kids leave for school just as our Nepali language lessons are starting. The old Wendy would have shut the door to focus on language lessons without being disturbed, but now I’m jumping up and telling the teacher, “Ek chin” (one moment), so Sam and I can run to the door and wish them all a good day as they all smile and bow their heads so that Wendy Auntie and Sam Uncle can place our hands on their heads and give them a blessing as they head off to school.

Or like last night when Sam and I were in our living room enjoying some quiet time, when all of a sudden through our open windows we heard Ambika and all of the children singing Nepali praise and worship songs upstairs in their living room. It was so beautiful that I was almost instantly overcome with tears of joy as it washed over me that this is our life, this is our home. Amazing.

  

Our living room is my sanctuary. I LOVE our shelf filled with
books, pictures of friends and family and our son's artwork.

Just as amazing was how we came to live here. Sam and I had been talking with Adam from ServLife about how Nepal is such a community oriented culture, and while living 20 minutes away from our friends is not a big deal in America, it has a different impact in Nepal. So we decided it would be good to start looking for a flat closer to our friends and pariwar (family).

Since we had paid 3 months in advance for the flat we were in near the monkey temple, and we did not have a lease (they are not as commonplace in Nepal), we would be free to move with only a month’s notice without feeling any pressure to move until we found the right place. A great situation to be in, but after our last round of searching for a place, we figured it would take a few months, especially since it would not be our main focus like it was previously.

Imagine our surprise when 2 days after our discussion we heard that the tenants who had been renting the flat below the Peace Loving Home for several years moved out with only 2 days’ notice! Sam and I decided to take a look at the flat, but we agreed that we would not move unless it was a good fit for everyone involved. Living closer is one thing, but one floor away – would that really be such a good idea? I like my quiet time, remember?

Plus, we were living in a nice flat with luxuries like running water, including hot water a good deal of the time, a western toilet with fairly new plumbing which meant we could flush toilet paper instead of putting it in the trash can like we had to do at some of the guesthouses we’ve stayed at, large rooms, a kitchen that was open to the living room (rare in Nepal, but something we love when having people over for a meal, as well as when I read aloud while Sam is cooking), the living room and bedrooms were carpeted (very rare in Nepal), and we had decent Internet (once again, rare in Nepal, yet extremely important since it is our lifeline to our friends and family back in America).

So we went to look at the flat with the agreement that we would not make a decision until after we went home that night and discussed it. As odd as it sounds, Sam was more hesitant then I was about the idea, even though he’s the one who loves kids and doesn’t need as much alone time as I do. Although, when he sees God open a door he typically walks through it. 

Yes, the red refrigerator is still with us.
The white piece of paper on it is our load shedding schedule
which tells us which hours our electric will be off each day.

We discovered the flat has 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, just like our previous flat, and we can flush toilet paper, but all of the rooms are smaller than the rooms in our last flat. There was no carpet in any of the rooms - only concrete floors (except in the bathrooms which have tile), the kitchen has a wall separating it from the living room, the water supply is not as plentiful, there seems to be less hot water and the Internet plans available here are not as good as what we had before.

Despite all of that, after seeing the place, I was ready to move. I was sure Sam felt differently, though, so as we sat upstairs having tea with Ambika at the children’s home after seeing the flat, I tried not to get my hopes up. Imagine my surprise when Ambika went to get more tea, and Sam started nodding his head, looking at me with anticipation and raised eyebrows as if to say, “Yes?” I felt my heart leap a little, but decided I must be misunderstanding what he was trying to say. After clarifying that I WAS in fact understanding him correctly, that he was saying he wanted to move, despite the luxuries were would have to give up, I nodded frantically “yes” back to him. Wow, was this really happening?

We gave notice at our old flat, giving us until the end of August to move out, which was good since the new flat needed a little bit of work – touch up paint and some minor plumbing repairs, plus Sam and I decided to get some carpet installed, which will be extremely nice during the winter months since the house is concrete with no insulation or heating. In other words, the whole house will get very COLD, and bare concrete floors would be really awful.

So at the beginning of August, we would drive down to our new flat almost every day as the repairs were taking place, and each evening it became harder and harder for Sam and I to leave to go back to our flat near the monkey temple. By the second week of August, we started moving the smaller, non-furniture items to the new flat, but the bigger items would not be so easy to move, because they would not fit in our Gypsy, and there’s no Uhaul in Nepal. As they like to say here, “ke garne?” – what to do?

Luckily, our dear friends at ServLife Himalaya Development came to our rescue. Dhanyabad (thank you) to our dear brothers Lazarus, Prem, Ramhari and 4 guys from their training class who saved the day. They found and rented 2 pick-up trucks with metal rails that they strapped our furniture to. We then prayed that the items would not fall out or get severely damaged as the trucks made the 20 minute drive on roads that are mostly potholes with very little actual paved road. We also prayed it would not rain since it is still monsoon season here, which means it can change from a beautiful, clear day to a downpour in a matter of minutes. And since there were some gray clouds looming, it seemed likely that our possessions were destined for a shower.

But God was good to us. It didn’t rain, and all of our belongings made it to our new flat with only a few minor scratches, dents, etc. A great move by American standards – a miracle in Nepal!

We have been in our new home for 2 weeks now. There have been adjustments, and we are still waiting for our Internet service to be installed, although Sam found a temporary fix (an Ncell dongle), which will suffice for now, but it is by no means great, as we can only use it on one computer at a time, it is expensive compared to a regular Internet plan and the speed is not ideal. Still, it is allowing us some Internet access and will be a great backup should we ever have problems with our Internet service in the future. Due to our Internet limitations we have not been able to communicate well as our emails, blog and most of our phone calls/Skype are done via the Internet. Once our real Internet service is installed (hopefully within the next few days), we will add some pictures to this post of our new place.

Pariwar

During our first trip to Nepal in June 2012, we met a wonderful couple named Ambika and Prem. They run an amazing childrens' home out of their house called The Peace Loving Home. This home takes in mostly young girls who are being persecuted for their Christianity by their own families. It was such a joy to find that this 'home" isn't run like an orphanage but like a true family which is filled with love and laughter.

Ambika and Prem almost immediately also took us in as family and became our very dear friends. While we were in the States preparing for our eventual move to Nepal, they would often keep in touch with us by phone and Skype. They would encourage us with much love and prayer. Since moving to Kathmandu this relationship has become even stronger and we have truly become pariwar (family.)

Once we got settled into our new place, we had the joy and pleasure of having their entire family over for an evening of food, fun, and great laughter. As a family of 3 we are not used to cooking for a family of 13. I (Sam) made them spagetti from scrath and even baked a mango cobbler (we love you mango season) that we enjoyed with ice cream.

Below are several pictures from our time together, though the pictures are not great the time we had together was! It was truly amazing and humbling to be able to serve this family and give them a much needed break and a fun outing for the chori (girls) as well as Aama (Ambika's 87 year old mom) who rarely leaves the house.

Aama and Wendy

The evening began so calmly

Slowly everyone starts having fun

Thank you, God (Dhanyabad Prabhu) for this food

Sam makes a great couch!

The girls each want a turn of Sam picking them up & tossing them on the bed

And then the girls decide Sam needs to be thrown on the bed

The exercise ball we brought from the States is a BIG hit with everyone

Top row left to right: Reena, Kamala, Wendy, Prem, Ambika, Aama and Shanti
Bottom row left to right: Upasna (head tilted), Sanu, Nabina, Anipa and Richa

No one was
harmed in the taking of this photo!