My Birthday in Nepal

I have always loved my birthday. Not just as a kid, but probably even more now that I'm an adult. I figured my first birthday in Nepal (I turned 42 on Februay 12) would be one I'd never forget, but oddly, as the day approached, I found myself less excited than normal.

The day started with Sam and Ambika waking me up singing Happy Birthday, giving me hugs, and asking me what I wanted for breakfast. Sam fixed us all some tea and made me a peanut butter and honey sandwich that was delicious.

After we had tea, Ambika left to get the girls ready for school, while Sam and I started getting ready for our language lesson... because nothing says "birthday celebration" more than a foreign language lesson, right?! Not sure what we were thinking, but at least we had arranged to meet our teacher at my favorite pizza place in the whole world... not that I've been to every pizza place in the world, but out of the ones I've been to, Roadhouse Cafe near Jawalakhel, Kathmandu tops them all!

Anyway, as I was getting ready, I heard a knock at the door. When I opened it, all of the girls were getting ready to leave for school and started singing "Happy Birthday" to me. My birthday just got a lot better.

After the girls sang "Happy Birthday" and left for school, Sam and I left for our language lesson at the pizza place. We got there a little early, so we ordered a piece of the chocolate truffel cake to start... and the day got even better.

Then our language teacher arrived and we started our lesson. I knew the pizza would be amazing (it was), but even our language lesson was awesome. We normally joke and have fun during our lessons, but we were having so much fun eating, practicing Nepali and reading some of the Devanargari (Nepali) script that at times we even had the waiter laughing... with us because of our joking around, not at us because of our language skills for those of you who were wondering!! This birthday was turning out pretty good.

Next we ran some errands and headed home. At 6 pm my time, my mom called to wish me a happy birthday. She woke up super early her time for the call, and my mom is NOT a morning person, so that made the call (and the day) even more special. (Thanks Mom!)

After my call with my mom, Sam and I went upstairs and celebrated with Prem, Ambika and the rest of our pariwar (Nepali for family). Prem had fixed a special birthday dinner of pasta in my honor (yes, I really like Italian food), plus they ordered a yummy black forest birthday cake.

We actually started with the cake, and Sam sang Happy Birthday to me in Nepali (Janmandinko Subhakamana), followed by my Nepali family singing "Happy Birthday" to me in English.

In Nepal they have a birthday tradition that we decided to embrace - the birthday person feeds a piece of cake to someone special. As you can see I had lots of fun with that... and Sam did manage to get me back, but this birthday is now my favorite birthday so far.

Thingyan Trip Part 2

So the adventure continues....

Prem, Ramhari, me and a villager from Thingyan get in the Gypsy, and glide most of the way down the steep mountain roads that almost seemed like some insane obstacle course. But luckily we did not need to turn the vehicle on for most of the descent from Thingyan. This really helped ease some of my concerns about the fuel. One problem with the Gypsy is that there is no power steering, even when the vehicle is turned on, so this can be quite challenging but rewarding when you're low on fuel!

It was a beautiful day and we had some amazing worship in the car, It is always nice to bring Prem along when possible, his passion for Christ is quite infectious, combine this with his worship leader talents and we are a traveling praise team!

As I said before, the terrain I was driving on is not very easy on any vehicle, but the Gypsy's jarring at every bump suddenly increased 500% as the front passenger shock's mounting had broken off the vehicle. Everyone in the vehicle wanted to stop, but was at least another two hours from any town or shop, and no cell phone reception, so I decided to continue at a slower pace. We did this until we heard the next !BANG!, and this one did not sound good. I got out and found that half of the front bumper was sitting on the ground.

In Nepal, scarfs are often given as a sign of respect for visitors and highly regarded peoples. Luckily, I had one of these scarfs placed around my neck just before leaving Thingyan, and this came in handy as it was the only thing we could find to tie the bumper back on. Off we were again finally coming to a paved road leading to Hetauda, a large city where we could have work done on the vehicle and spend a night at a hotel of some sort.

I felt like a horse running to the barn, about to get home. Then the worst happened, I noticed smoke starting to billow out from below the dashboard, I looked down and saw fire through the firewall! We quickly pulled over and unloaded everyone out of the vehicle, including our luggage. We got the hood open and the fire was huge. Luckily we had a 5 gallon bottle of water sitting in the back which we poured over the fire, putting it out moments before the whole thing would have exploded!

We had quite a crowd and many kids were standing around watching. We had no water and were exhausted. We were about 15 minutes from Hetauda so Prem called his buddy Reuben who lives in Hetauda who said he was calling a mechanic to come and tow the vehicle in. This is Nepal, and nothing here happens fast so we wait... and wait. But God's provision is always there if we are looking for it. Walking down the street, far from town was a man pushing an ice cream cart! I couldn't believe it, we all sat there eating ice cream which we also bought for all of the kids around, still singing our praise songs.

We finally got a tow and the shop told us the vehicle would be ready the next day! I could not believe it, and looking back, should not have believed it. We ended up spending 3 nights in Hetauda with many more amazing stories to be told in the future. All in all my quick trip to Thingyan lasted about a week but we made it back to Kathmandu, by the grace of God. When we arrived we found the air filter cover had fallen off and the air filter was stuck in the radiator fan, plus we had a dead battery! We sent the car back to the shop where it stayed for the next month due to holidays.

Quick update: Upon returning to Kathmandu January 2nd, we replaced the battery and drove the Gypsy for the first time after the trip, after our short run around town we pulled into the drive and found almost all of the oil had leaked out of the engine. "Ke Garne?!" which means "What to do?!" So once again it is sitting in the drive gathering dust as we await word on our visas.

Thingyan Trip Part 1

In September, I took a trip to Thingyan. For some reason this blog was never posted, so here we go.

Wendy and I have been hard at our language and culture study in Kathmandu, but I was so excited when I was able to take my first real trip to rural Nepal on 17th of September since moving here. I traveled in my now infamous Gypsy (jeep) with Ramhari and Prem from Kathmandu. The plan was to meet Pastor Ratna about half way there in a major city called Hetauda. Pastor Ratna was to take a bus which would arrive just before we would and ride out with us in the Gypsy the last 4 hours so I could already begin discussions with him about the Hope Fund, and to learn so much about the success or any problems with the program there.

But, this is Nepal, so we ended up waiting 5 hours in Hetauda. Pastor Ratna did not come by bus, but instead came by motorbike, and to take his place in the Gypsy, we waited for two other passengers I did not know, who needed a ride to the village.

I was told previously that the road was quite nice from Hetauda to Thingyan, much better than the way I had gone on a previous trip last year. Yet, after a heavy rainy season that had just ended, these so-called roads were nonexistent, almost. This road was by far the worst road I have ever tried to pass, at times it was like going straight up the mountain!  I noticed pretty quickly that there were no other vehicles on the road at all, and it was then that I was told that no vehicles were passing at this time to Thingyan because the roads were almost impassable! Great to find out this information 3/4 of the way up the mountain.

During one of the many jarring bumps we began to smell fuel, so I got out and checked the fuel tank for a hole, but found it only had a new large dent in the pan, which also killed the fuel gauge, so it was no longer working and registering at empty. Later, during the last leg of the journey, we found that the gas cap had somehow been lost and this was the reason for the gas smell. My missing gas cap was quickly replaced with a potato and a plastic bag! This was the start of problems once again with the Gypsy.  We knew we  had lost some of the fuel but with the gauge not working, we had no clue how much or if we would make it to Thingyan, much less make it back to the major city of Hetauda.

The Gypsy worked great, it made it up some roads that I did not think were possible to be able to pass. I wish I  had taken the time to take pictures of some of the roads we traversed. Next time! Luckily our potato and plastic bag held strong the rest of the trip!  All of  the passengers had to get out at some points just for the jeep to be able to make it up the incline. Our 7 hour trip turned into about 13 hours, but we finally made it to our destination after some tough work by the Gypsy.

I was anxious to meet the people of Thingyan and find out about their lives. Pastor Ratna also had a great dinner prepared for us. From the church we heard chanting and drums going for hours during our talks. I was told  it was actually Ratna's mother practicing worship to idols, currently Ratna is the only member of his family that has come to Christ. I was asked if I wanted to see how they did this, and I jumped at this opportunity but was shocked when I saw what was taking place, I was told it was a ritual from the first century. Ratna's mother was completely wrapped in a blanket and sitting on the floor. There were two people jumping around with burning  fires in one hand and some kind of alcohol in the other as they were chanting they would throw a hand full of alcohol through the fire onto his mom wrapped in the blanket. Each time someone, would quickly brush the fire off of the sheets which surrounded Ratna's mother.

After this we went next  door to the church building and had the most amazing time of prayer and worship to the only true God, he joined us with his presence and we were all refreshed. After some time we planned  out the next day, I would take  many interviews with the DSLR camera that Adam had left with me on his last trip to Kathmandu. Learning how to be a  much better photographer is also one of my new goals. We went  to sleep that night with the chanting and drums going on in the background,  lasting most of the night.

We actually slept great in a room with about 8 guys sleeping on the floor. The next morning, we set out early to talk with the 5 latest Hope Fund recipients, to see how things were going and to learn more about who them and how the program has effected them. When we started walking, I quickly realized that we were heading down steep mountain rocks that were still wet from the morning dew. Unfortunately, I was wearing the wrong kind of shoes for this type of trail ( my hiking shoes were in the Gypsy,)  I must have slipped and fallen at least 20 times on my rump! They all got such a good laugh and I even had Pastor Ratna helping hold me up until they found something I could use as a walking stick!

Pastor Ratna doing his best to keep me from falling!

The conversations were great and I was able to meet some amazing people. The work being done here through the Hope Fund has truly changed this entire community, raising it out of poverty and empowering them to provide for their families and their children's food and educations. I was able to meet with the chairman of the Hope Fund in Thingyan and his wife. I feel so blessed to have had the priviledge of making this trip, meeting these people and hearing their stories.

Pastor Ratna and I on the trails.

Thingyan is one  of the most amazing places I have found on earth with beautiful mountains every direction you look, and the people were even more amazing. Peoples of all religions in this place are being blessed by the HopeFund and other programs Servlife has brought to this remote location. The Christians now have the respect of the entire village, including the Hindus. Out in the villages, they speak no English and even with a translator I missed so much of what was going on. This has given me a greater drive to really put more effort towards learning the Nepali language.

After a long day we had a nice  meal  and finalized some conversations. I was deeply impacted by the way the Hope Fund has been such a success here. We packed up the Gypsy late in the afternoon to head back to Hetauda. But, did we have enough fuel to even make it, or could we face even greater difficulties on our journey down....
Find out soon in Part 2. It gets very interesting, stayed  tuned!

Back to the States

Why, God?

I'm sure we have all asked this question at times, and this is where we found ourselves as we booked our plane tickets out of Nepal for October 25th, the last day on our tourist visas. In Nepal, you only get 5 months a year on a tourist visa, and to our great dismay, our work visas did not come through in time.

Wendy immediately realized that we would miss Christmas with the girls at the Peace Loving Home, who have taken us in as family. That was unacceptable, so we decided to celebrate early with them on October 24th. We had a wonderful evening together, ate a lot of food and even had a "Happy Birthday Jesus" cake as well! As you can see in the pictures, we were able to buy new winter coats for all of the girls, as well as a plush robe to keep Aama warm all winter. 

October 25 came and we were in tears to be leaving Nepal, still not understanding God's plan in this. After 30 hours of travel we made it back to Texas and were picked up by our son, Simon, who we we thrilled to see. It took about a week before we were feeling normal again from the 12 hour time difference - that is as bad as jet lag can get!

It has been great to see our friends and family, and God has seen fit to give us rest and rejuvenate our souls. Our plans for our stay in the states includes two weeks traveling and seeing our family and then getting back to work learning Nepali.

It has been fun watching God's plan come together for our lives, even though we don't always understand it or like it. He has placed his finger on some things we need to change or remove from our lives so we can better serve Him and the people of Nepal. Best of all, my marriage to Wendy has jumped to all new heights as God has us breaking down walls and defenses in our own marriage.

We look forward to spending as much time as possible with our family, friends and partners before we fly back to Nepal at the end of December.

God HELP!!!

Wendy's journal entry Friday, September 27, 2013

God HELP!!! I am struggling today. My to-do list feels overwhelming, and the more I try to do, the more behind I seem to get. I am tired, and I am not ready to leave Nepal for 2 months if our nontourist VISAs don't get approved in time. I know just a few days ago I said I trust you in this, but today, I just want to cry at the thought of possibly having to leave. I need to learn to drive here, but I am scared. I want to spend time with our Nepali family, but I am tired. I want to learn the language, but the more I learn, the more overwhelmed I feel. I want to spend time with Sam, but my to-do list dominates my brain. I need you, Lord.

Our First Nepali Father's Day

September 5 was Father's Day in Nepal, so Sam and I decided to take the family (Ambika, Prem, Anipa, Kamala, Richa, Nabina, Shanti, Sonu, Upasna and Manuka- who just joined the family a few days ago) out to a restaurant as a Father's Day gift. We thought it would be a nice treat for Prem to have someone cook for him since he owns a restaurant and spends 6 long days a week there cooking for other people. Plus, going to a restaurant is something the kids rarely do, so we figured they would have a great time, too.

The girls give Prem his Father's Day gift.

I (Wendy) was running a fever of almost 102 just an hour before we left. It had come on suddenly just a few hours earlier, so I decided I wasn't going to go, but when I mentioned this to Sam and Ambika they started talking about waiting until another day when I could go. This was Father's Day, not Wendy's Day. It was supposed to be about Prem and Sam, not me. Besides, cooking here takes much more work and prepartion, so to change plans and decide to cook this late in the day would have meant a big inconvenience for them, which was NOT the Father's Day gift I wanted to give. So I took some medicine and a shower, got myself together and went with them to the restaurant.

The girls' give Sam one of his 2 Father's Day cards.

I was fairly pale and pouring sweat, but I am SO glad I went. The kids were laughing and taking pictures, the food was delicious, and not only did the girls give Prem a beautiful flower arrangement and two Father's Day cards, but they also surprised Sam with two Father's Day cards (a store-bought one and a homemade one). 

A wonderful surprise - an anniversary card and flower arrangement.

And if that weren't enough (it would have been), they also surprised both of us with a lovely flower arrangement and card for our anniversary which was the following day. I am sure I was quite a vision... pale, pouring sweat and crying tears of joy throughout the evening as I kept looking around and thinking, "I am living in Nepal. This is my life. I am part of this family." 

Attending My First Nepali Christian Wedding

When Ambika invited me (Wendy) to go to a Nepali Christian wedding with her, I was excited, but not sure what to expect. I imagined there would be both similarities and differences from what I am accustomed to in America, and I was right.

My first question was what should I wear? Did I need to buy a sari (the traditional Nepali dress) or would a kurta (the traditional Nepali pants, long shirt and scarf) be okay? Ambika said either would be fine, and offered to let me wear something of hers, which I happily accepted.

The day of the wedding arrived, and as promised Ambika loaned me a beautiful red and black kurta. I was told the wedding would start at 2pm and probably be over by 5:00 or 5:30pm. Since we live about 10 minutes from the church, we didn't need to leave too early, but as 1:50pm came and went, I began to get anxious. I am typically a very punctual person, especially to something like a wedding, so I went to check on Ambika who was still getting ready.

Slightly frusterated, but trying not to worry too much, I went back downstairs to our flat to wait for her. Sam asked what time the wedding started. I told him 2:00, and we both laughed since it was now after 2:00. We reminded each other (only half joking) that this was a Nepali wedding after all, so of course no one would be there are 2:00. The guests would probably show up at 3:00, the groom at 4:00 and maybe the bride would be there by 5:30!

While this may sound obsurd to many of you (and Sam and I were exaggerating about the bride and grrom showing up late) there is actually a lot of truth and reasoning behind what seems rude to most Americans. In America, we tend to be about productivity, punctuality, "time is money" and so forth. In Nepal, they tend to be more event-oriented.

For example, our kitchen needed a faucet before we moved in, so Sam and I went to several different faucet shops. We would explain the kind we were looking for, and even if they didn't have it, they would often offer us a cup of hot tea. Nevermind that we needed to keep shopping, preferably at a shop that had what we needed. It is not about our to-do list or our productivity, it is about taking/ making time for people. It's hard to get used to when you are used to being time oriented. It's even annoying at first, then humbling and if you are lucky, eventually you realize maybe it's not so absurd after all. In fact, isn't that a lot of what Jesus did; take/ make time for people? As we've continued to discover, we have so much to learn here.

Back to the day of the wedding, though. I checked in on Ambika a few more times (it was about 2:20 by this time), and that's when she told me not to worry, because she heard the wedding had not actually started at 2:00. Of course it didn't. This is Nepal, and I love it here!

We finally got to the wedding at about 2:30 or maybe later, although by now I had stopped checking the clock. We took our shoes off, as is the custom in Nepal, and as we went inside the church we were handed a wedding program written in Devanagari script, which Sam and I have just started learning, so I couln't read it at the time, but hopefully I'll be able to very soon! A small fake rose was also pinned to each of us.

There were already quite a few people there, and Ambika let me know that they were introducing the groom's father, his mother and the bride's uncle, because she is an orphan (she grew up in an orphanage), and he was her closest living relative. The men sat mostly in the front (although some who came in later sat near the back), the women sat mostly in back (including the groom's mother) and everyone, except the bride, groom, best man, maid of honor and the pastor, sat on the floor. The pastor stands, and the bride and groom sit on a sofa facing everyone, along with their best man and maid of honor.

I also noticed that the bride kept her head bowed for the entire ceremony, which Ambika told me is the custom here. Also, the bride was very serious throughout the whole ceremony, including a few times when the pastor had obviously made a joke and everyone else laughed, including the groom. Each time Ambika translated for me, and it never seemed like something that the bride would not find humorous, so I finally asked Ambika, and she said that both the bride and groom are supposed to remain very serious for the whole ceremony as a sign that they are taking it seriously, so even though they were probably both very happy and excited, showing that would appear disrespectful.

That brought up a new question in my mind. I know that many Nepali marriages are still arranged, but I wasn't sure about Nepali Christian marriages. Ambika informed me that the bride and groom had known each other a long time and that they chose to get married, but they still had to get permission from their parents (or in this case just his parents since she is an orphan) and the church. If the parents or the church objected, then they could not get married.

Also, typically they would get married at the bride's church, but in this case they had to get married at the groom's church because the bride's church rents their building and there were some issues with the landlord. Even more surprising to me, although I guess it shouldn't have been, was that Christian marriages are not recognized by the government of Nepal. The couple simply receives a certificate from the church. I figured this had been the case back when the country was a Hindu nation, but I just assumed it had changed now that Nepal is a secular nation, een though most of the people are still Hindu. Apparently not.

As for the similarities of the wedding, from what Ambika translated, most of the ceremony is much like a Christian wedding in America with the pastor speaking to the couple about marriage, quoting some Bible verses and the exchange of vows and rings, as well as the couple each taking separate white candles and together lighting a larger red candle. There is no "You may kiss the bride" though, because kissing in public is still taboo in Nepal. Instead, the pastor simply announces when the couple is husband and wife.

There is also wedding cake just like in America, and the bride and groom leave for just a few minutes after the ceremony to go cut the cake, but then immediately come back to the wedding pulpit/ couch area to take pictures and spend time with guests while the everyone else makes their way to the reception area to eat a meal of dhal bhat (lentils and rice), curried vegetables and meat followed by a very small piece of the cake placed on a plate with plain yogurt.

After eating and talking with several of the guests, it was time to leave. Surprisingly it was about 5:30pm as Ambika had told me, which was a pleasant surprise, although I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud as we got to the road and several people were just arriving!