For God

Prayer. What do you think of when you think of prayer? For me it conjures up lots of images as well as mixed feelings.

Images of candles, solitude and perhaps a cup of tea. Time when I talk to God and share my hopes, dreams, concerns, worries and praises, time to think beyond myself for others and their prayer needs, time to be still and listen for God's still small voice- much nicer than the alternative of making Him take drastic measures to get my attention!

Of course, there are also the prayers that are spontaneous throughout the day. Thanking God for the cool breeze that accompanies a monsoon rain, especially at night after a long hot day, as well as desperate prayers as I struggle to communicate in Nepali or even to simply study Nepali! 

Prayers for friends, family and the people of Nepal in general with their struggles and hardships, some that are familiar to all of us... for children to do well in school, jobs for the unemployed, healing for the sick, but also prayers that are not as common for those of us from America. Prayers for the Dalits or "untouchables" because even though the caste system was officially outlawed in Nepal in 1990, and while it is not as predominant or rigid today, it is still very much a part of life in Nepal, especially in the rural villages. Prayers for the government which has been working under an Interim Constitution since 2007. Prayers for things like safe, clean drinking water and electricity, or for families to be able to afford the luxury of education for their children.

But I am also convicted when I think of prayer, knowing how many opportunities I miss to talk with and listen to God. Prayers that others have asked me to pray that I pray once or twice for and then forget. Prayers that aren't just a list of me telling God what I think He should do, but prayers where I go before God, be still, listen and let go of what I think and "let" Him be God. Prayers that aren't just a quick "shout out" to God, but an enjoyable conversation with my Abba, Father, the living God who loves me more than I can comprehend.

Last night before I went to bed I was reading through my prayer journal, which I'm sad to say I had not looked at in about a week. As I read through the current prayers, as well as looked at all of the prayers that are highlighted in yellow (prayers God has answered), I was filled with a longing to spend today with my Abba, Father... a Sabbath day, if you will, but more than that. 

Unfortunately even Sabbath days can be more about me than God. They also can be days where I do things that fill my soul... read my Bible, pray, sleep, have good food, relax... all good things, but today is more of a "date day" with God for me. It is all of the things I do on Sabbath days, but more. It is simply being with God and enjoying His presence. For that I don't need candles, a cup of tea or even my Bible.

Having said all of that, I never imagined that I would write a blog today. That doesn't fit into my idea of spending time with God. But today is not about me, so when I felt God nudging me to simply share my day with others... to share Him with others... not as a blog I need to write, but as a love letter to Him and to anyone He leads to read this blog, I sat down and did it. 

As I read back over it, I question why God had me write this. To me it seems rambling and like it doesn't really say much. There are no pictures. Surely with an extra day or two I could come up with something better, something I would be more pleased with, but as quickly as those thoughts came, again I felt God saying, "This is not about you. This is not a marketing piece." So here I go posting this entry in faith that He knows better than I do... this one's for You, God. :)

Love,

Wendy